It’s very hard to endure this. I feel an intense guilt for not being able to tell the truth to some people. Sometimes, I feel like giving up; I know it’s a self-centered thought, but I don’t know how to deal with this. There is a lot of confusion in both my personal and professional life. My heart and mind are at war—what my heart wants to do, my mind refuses to agree with. And somewhere, I wonder if what I call the voice of my heart is just an emotional fervor. My ideals about a life partner are also changing, and I can’t reach a conclusion.
When these storms arise, one should not start fighting them with all kinds of analysis, judgments, etc, by the mind which easily gets clouded in its perception by the and dirt around. Instead, one should try to be quiet, as quiet as one can be, stay busy, as busy as one can, and offer oneself and the entire situation and circumstances to the Mother every day, as they unfold. And then learn to wait till the storm becomes weak as it must and passes away. It is then that one should see, try to learn the lesson, understand, and walk further.
Problems come in everybody’s life, even the gods and the Divine; taking a human body is not exempt. The difference is that we want things to turn in a particular way, we expect a certain result, for example, that people should understand us, or that my feelings should be reciprocated, or that things should be as I wish them to be. But that is not how life operates or is meant to operate. The challenges of life are meant to push us towards progress, towards discovering ourselves and the world around us. One should take the right attitude towards things, the attitude to grow through everything. Continuing to endure without an inner shift will not help much. What is needed is to shift from the law of desires to acceptance and surrender to the Divine Will.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
