A person loves and cares for their close relativesโespecially their son, daughter, wife, or husbandโthroughout their entire life. They consider them their own and spend their whole life gathering all the comforts and luxuries for them. However, if that person becomes bedridden, these same relatives might take good care of them for a few days, but eventually, they stop caring. In the end, they start ignoring them; even if the bedridden person calls out to them to come near, they do not even come to sit with them for two minutes. I have seen and heard this happening many times..
There is no need to bring Karma in all this. It is the way Society is. When mankind pursues selfish goals, especially for ambition and money, the result is a progressive dehumanisation through the increase of rajo-tamasic elements prioritising comforts and personal happiness over higher values.
This is a sad reality of many families across the world. It is not new either. In ancient times there was the culture of Vanprastha Ashram which basically encouraged the elderly to live in Ashrams when they grow old and spend their time contemplating upon God and the deeper mysteries of existence. The Mahabharata describes how Vidura, Kunti, Gandhari, Dhritrashtra are adviced to follow this path which they do. In modern times we have old age homes outside as well as now in India as well.
This happens largely because the basic values of life are not properly transmitted, especially if the children see how their parents have treated their own parents. Secondly there has been a lot of mobility in the younger generation today due to career prospects, money, even education of children. It is difficult for the elderly to cope up with this change. They have friends and familiar faces which they find difficult to leave. It is not easy to adjust to the new conditions and it is equally improper to call or expect the children to come back, leave their jobs and careers to look after parents in the villages or small towns where they have grown up. It is also a fact that the elderly can become sometimes rigid and unreasonable even as the children are too busy to give time. They are quite tired by the time they return. A money centered world has robbed people of their time and work-life balance. It is also true that many parents are very happy to see children earn a lot. But there is a price to money itself and the heavy toll it takes on human relationships and pursuit of higher goals.
TV has stepped in as a respite but it is a pity to see the elderly sit before the Television and spend time. The problem is manifold so to say.
But the true solution can be very simple. On the one hand instilling value education in the schools as well as the parents. It is the parents who set their child to amass money and go abroad and then later they feel neglected. In such an instance the law of Karma does operate. As you sow so do you reap. But the elders too must understand that life is not just about family and comforts. They themselves don’t have higher goals beyond some religous practices. They too must learn to remain independent as long as possible and, especially after 70, spend their time and life preoccupied with higher things rather than family issues. It is never too early to learn a new and beautiful independent way to live and never too late for a course corrective.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
