It is strange that with such experiences you should be full of gratitude and joy rather than of doubt and complaint. Perhaps it is this too much focus on yourself that is creating the difficulty and raising up the hidden resistances from within. Do not be impatient. Change of nature does not happen in a day. These higher forces take long to permanently establish themselves, years in fact. They are a gift of Grace and should be received with humility and gratitude rather than with the sense of rights and entitlements.
It is also important to do some work or service of the Divine as part of the sadhana, otherwise this intermittent disturbance and division prolongs itself much longer.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
