Dear Alok Da, was hearing your talk today – destiny and determinism. You were talking about reading The Mother’s writings. I wholeheartedly agree. To me, Sri Aurobindo’s writings are luminous and give me the image of a sphere … like it’s very comprehensive and complete and multi faceted. His writings are like the ocean… but Mother’s writings are like a waterfall… full of force and directness and for lack of a better word… digestible. She breaks it down for us to get it. Something I wanted to mention that happens often… I am currently reading Essays on the Gita… but for the past few days , I am feeling that I should now start reading Mother’s collected works. After I finish Essays on the Gita, I will pick them up. Then the same message I got from your talks. This has happened several times. Something comes down to me from above and I feel it, and then something (often times your talks) articulates that exact thing to me. I find it very assuring. Like She is telling me. As mentioned in the talk, I also resonate with the conflicting feelings. One part of me wants to do something higher , another part (and they are more than one) that wants the more vital, outward things. It’s such a conflict … Sri Aurobindo has said that you can’t be on two boats… and I feel that… but I don’t have the consciousness or the force to pick the right boat :(, thus this question came to me…
The door is certainly open you or else you won’t be asking the questions and more importantly getting the answers coming up from within and a confirmation from outside, through a talk or from somewhere else. It is itself a sign that you are ready. The urge to read Sri Aurobindo and The Mother, to feel the fullness in Their writings that you describe so beautifully is a sign that you are not only ready but already on the Path.
As to conflicts and contradictions they are there in everyone and often continue for long on the journey. It is only when we are close, very close to the Lord that all the unwanted or unnecessary baggage drops away or is left behind us. Until then the baggage continues with most, though lessened in weight as the Divine takes it up and carries for us or quietly leaves it behind and we notice it not.
It is said that one cannot think of the Divine unless the Divine is thinking of you. If one seeks the Divine it means that the Divine has already sought you.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
