If one has always experienced a childhood intimacy with Krishna as a friend and playmate, what does it signify when a natural, gradual shift occurs toward Mahadev (Shiva), and how can this “sneaking in” of a new divine presence be understood as an evolution of the soul’s relationship with the Divine rather than a replacement of the old? 🪈🦚🐄💙🕉️🌑

As you know, since childhood, Krishna has been my brother, my dear friend, my companion, my playmate and I have always felt this easy intimacy with him that one would feel in such a dynamic. He has never been “God” to me and now..🪈🦚🐄💙

I have always spoken to him as one would speak to their closest friend, without formality or ceremony. I have even fought with him, and I have joked with him without restraint. There has never been any distance. 

But lately… I would say, since a couple of years I suppose, I have started to feel a sort of distance from him. Not that I love him any less. But the ease of childhood seemed to have shifted. I’m not sure how to explain it properly. The love is always there but just something was different. I couldn’t be so “casual” with him as I had always been. 

And very organically and gently, without my even noticing it, Mahadev’s figure started to somehow “sneak in” around me. 

Growing up, my life was filled with Krishna. In some form or another I have been surrounded by him.. in stories, in people around me, in everything Krishna was present to the point where there was absolutely no presence of Mahadev anywhere. I never even thought of Shiv in anyway. I do not mean this in any form of disrespect or dislike but my mind and heart was filled with Krishna and there was no space for any other.

However, I have noticed, in recent times that that sort of thing is happening where Mahadev is slowly surrounding me. I have been feeling this sort of draw to him. It’s not sudden. I don’t even know when and how it started. But it has grown to the point where today morning I had this sudden urge to start worshipping the small Shivaling that we have had in our home temple since about 3-4 years. 

It just came so instinctively that I felt like, why have I not done this till now? This Shivlinga has been right in front of me since such a long time and I didn’t even see it. 

I would not say that Krishna is “replaced”. I kept the Krishna idol right there beside the Shivlinga. But just… It’s still… Quite curious and I wanted to share this and understand this change.

Sri Krishna and Shiva are two aspects of the One Divine Being. Sri Krishna fills our life with sweetness, beauty and love when he first draws near. But to follow on his steps is very difficult since He expresses himself in and through creation even as he is beyond it. He loves all and dwells in all and hence leads those who turn towards him to not only love all beings and creatures but to experience his delight even in things terrible, on the battlefield as much as in the wayside temple. It is a difficult thing for humanity that seeks comfort zones of life and shrinks from the battle. When human beings seek rest and peace rather than the evolutionary struggle, then Shiva comes. He takes us from the point where all that we cherished and loved is destroyed, gives us the much needed peace until we are ready for the battle of life through which we evolve towards our own godlike and divine possibilities. 

That is what this change means. It means a quiet and silent preparation, a temporary turning away from all that life can offer in pursuit of the everlasting and the Eternal. He absorbs the bitter poison in our heart, gives Peace and Rest. Then, once we are rested in Mahadev’s shelter, in the Peace of the Eternal then we can resume the evolutionary battle and the struggle held by Krishna’s hand. Sharing a poem of Sri Aurobindo with you on the two great gods and their workings in us.

‘The One Self

All are deceived, do what the One Power dictates,
    Yet each thinks his own will his nature moves;
The hater knows not ’tis himself he hates,
    The lover knows not ’tis himself he loves.

In all is one being many bodies bear;
    Here Krishna flutes upon the forest road,
Here Shiva sits ash-smeared, with matted hair.
    But Shiva and Krishna are the single God.

In us too Krishna seeks for love and joy,
    In us too Shiva struggles with the world’s grief.
One Self in all of us endures annoy,
    Cries in his pain and asks his fate’s relief.

My rival’s downfall is my own disgrace:
I look on my enemy and see Krishna’s face.’

(Ref. https://incarnateword.in/cwsa/02/the-one-self)

Affectionately,

Alok Da