Interestingly, when I step out and work elsewhere, I find that connection returning naturally, and I am able to work with full devotion. This is what confuses me.
The other department also has its own set of difficulties, yet the Divine presence does not feel hidden there. In contrast, in this particular department of the Ashram, the connection seems to withdraw, even though both places have their own challenges. This leaves me wondering how such a difference in inner experience can arise within the departments of the Ashram itself.
I am unable to leave the Ashramβnot due to financial dependence, but because I cannot imagine leaving Her physical presence and settling elsewhere. At the same time, I do not wish to complain, as that would only create unnecessary disharmony.
And how such things can happen in The Department of the Ashram? I seek your guidance only to gain clarity and not out of dissatisfaction.
Sri Aurobindo and The Mother have spoken of the two atmospheres of the Ashram. There is first and foremost the atmosphere that pervades the place due to the tapasya of Sri Aurobindo and The Mother’s Love which is stamped everywhere.
But there is also the human atmosphere, the personal and collective atmosphere created by the thoughts and the consciousness of human beings who are here. The individuals working in the different departments, even though accepted as inmates, are all carrying their own difficulties. It is partly because each one is a representative of a certain tendency of human nature which gets magnified here because of their representative nature. It is like the person took upon himself or herself a certain aspect of the world. As this difficulty gets worked in him or her, it facilitates the overcoming of this tendency in the world. The pressure of the transforming Force brings these hidden pockets of resistances so that these may be conquered and cleared from the world consciousness. We have to consciously become indifferent to the difficulty in others and focus only on what is coming in the way of our feeling the Divine Presence.
It is also helpful to remember what the Mother has said that it is few who are here for the yoga. They are here for a variety of reasons which one need not go into. To the aspiring soul they provide the experience of contact with the different forces and energies of the world. This contact is a necessary part of the process of yoga itself since it brings out aspects of our nature, elements that are hidden and veil the Divine Presence in us. It is this that we have to get past inwardly. These reactions that arise in us, sometimes due to emotional reactions or vital preferences and expectations or even mental idealism as in a sattwic person, have all to be overcome. As we thus go through the process of purification from the ego-self these elements in our nature become more supple, our consciousness becomes vast. All this comes so that we may grow in equanimity and steadfast in our aspiration to serve the Mother regardless of the difficulties in the workplace and the people around. It is like a well-planned training ground for our budding soul to grow out of its present ignorance. The more challenging the outer environment and the human atmosphere shielding the Divine Presence, the more are the possibilities waiting to emerge in us.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
Finally there is the collective aspect of the Yoga due to which one person’s difficulty as well as victory tends to get reflected in others.
Let me put one out of several passages from the Mother’s conversations that touches the problem.
‘“Often he (the sadhak) finds that even after he has won persistently his own personal battle, he has still to win it over and over again…”
Yes. So?
Then does this mean that others profit by his sadhana?
You understand, it’s like that for everyone.
If there was only one, it could be like this: that he alone could do it for all; but if everybody does it… you understand…
You are fifty persons doing the Integral Yoga. If it is only one of the fifty who is doing it, then he does it for all the fifty. But if each one of the fifty is doing it, each doing it for all the fifty, he does it actually for one person alone, because all do it for all.
But the work is much longer?
One must widen oneself.
The work is more complicated, it is more complete, it asks for a greater power, a greater wideness, a greater patience, a greater tolerance, a greater endurance; all these things are necessary. But in fact, if each one does perfectly what he has to do, it is no longer only one single person who does the whole thing: not one single person who does it for all, but all now form only one person who does it for the whole group.
This ought to form a kind of sufficient unity among all those who are doing it, so that they no longer feel the distinction. This is indeed the ideal way of doing it: that they now form only one single body, one single personality, working at once each for himself and for the others without any distinction.’
