I feel that I can do nothing right, I don’t have the gift of intuition and so I can only act based on intellect and reason, but everything I touch seems to go to ruin. I feel like my birth is useless, and nothing I do is helping anybody. I want to end my life but my mum will have nobody if I take my own life. I’ve tried everything from medication to meditation. Not only do I ruin my life but everyone’s life around me too. My brain won’t leave me alone.
You are too young to even think such things. Life has just begun for you. To want to end it is never a good thing. Even if everything is bad, even if everything goes from bad to worse, wanting to take away one’s life is the worst of all. It throws the person in a very dark and dangerous world, unprotected, where the misery is prolonged many times.
Such suggestions as taking away one’s life comes from the push of hostile forces. Instead of accepting them you should call God’s Name and see your therapist immediately. Share your feelings with family members. These self-depreciatory feelings are not true. They will pass away. By indulging in these thoughts they become strong. Instead one should turn the mind away towards work and progress. There are always doors waiting to be opened. Look for the possibilities and start making the right effort. Everything will come back and even grow. Never lose hope.
Meanwhile do see the doctor who prescribed you the medicines urgently.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
