Home » Questions on Mother, Sri Aurobindo and Savitri » This is a very serious question. When I started getting connected to The Mother and Sri Aurobindo a year back , listening your talks, going to Delhi ashram, reading the books, I used to feel so close to them, my aspiration was high, I used to be conscious of them, Sincere in my works and offerings.But now when I have spent more than a year in Delhi and college, specially giving alot energy to my relationship, as I took lots of ups and downs, indulging in music societies, and hence getting into all the lower activities like spending time with people with ordinary life and lower tendencies. I did this mistake for a very long time. I’m in my hometown for diwali holidays, far away from everything, everyone. When I sit alone and try to feel her presence and introspect. I see that the flame is not the same, the spark has gone, although I know that I’m for her, I have to live for her, but certainly my aspiration is not the same. I feel myself far from her. The wanting, the curiosity, the questioning mind, the will to grow, everything has come to a static state. I know you can understand, please help me, what can I do, I don’t want to live an ordinary life, I want to live for her, only for her, her ,her🙏.