Yes, it is a form of ambition which is quite natural at your age. But the paradox is that the more we want to be at the centre our focus shifts from the work to the results. This ends up making us increasingly restless and interferes with the work itself.
In any case the fact is that the results are never in one’s hands. It is a complex play of forces which cannot be manipulated by anyone, especially in the present state of ignorance. Hence it is best to focus on doing the work well, to pursue excellence, do it as a service and worship of the Divine and leave the results completely in the Divine hands.
In any case guilt has no place on the path of Yoga. One has to learn and grow and keep learning and growing.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
