I read two texts from the Mother’s writings regarding human love💗. (1) One was from CWM Vol 12 under the topic “The Four Austerities and The Four Liberations.”From “For one who has known love for the Divine, all other forms of love are obscure and too mixed with pettiness and egoism and darkness;” ….. to……”This concentration will culminate in an integral identification and will be instrumental to the supramental realisation upon earth.”

(2)Another one was from CWM Vol 8 P.no. 300, From ” It is said that to become conscious of divine Love all other love has to be abandoned. What is the best way of rejecting the other love which clings so obstinately (Laughter) and does not easily leave us”…… to……”This is better than drying up one’s heart. It is perhaps a little more difficult but it is better in every way, for like this, instead of egoistically making others suffer, well, one may leave them quiet in their own movement and only make an effort to transform oneself without imposing one’s will on others, which even in ordinary life is a step towards something higher and a little more harmonious.”

Please help me bhaiya in synthesizing both these seemingly contradictory truths given by The Mother.

In both these the Mother is revealing to us the different stages of love.  The love that is centred around the body and the vital, mainly pushed by vital attraction and passions with strong sexual desires, then it is best left aside as it is a big hindrance to the true spiritual life. On the other hand if love originates in the deeper heart, in the emotional being with an urge to give then there is the possibility of refining,  purifying and uplifting it towards something true, beautiful and divine.  The reason is that the emotional heart centre is closer to the psychic being and can be easily pushed towards something beautiful from behind.  Here the advice is to purify this love from the dross of gross and dark emotions such as jealousy, possessiveness,  domination, lust etc. 

At the same time human nature is not made of one piece or rigidly compartmentalised. The growth out of ignorance is not an all or none phenomenon.  It takes place through different stages and one should be mentally honest to recognize where one stands in this tremendous journey.  Yoga is a psycho-spiritual science and not a rule book of moral science that often breeds hypocrisy and outer makeovers to look good. That is why the Mother says this as well. 

‘For example, one of the very concrete things that brings out the problem well: humanity has the sexual impulse in a way altogether natural, spontaneous and, I would say, legitimate. This impulse will naturally and spontaneously disappear with animality. Many other things will disappear, as for example the need to eat and perhaps also the need to sleep in the way we sleep now. But the most conscious impulse in a superior humanity, which has continued as a source of… bliss is a big word, but joy, delight—is certainly the sexual activity, and that will have absolutely no reason for existence in the functions of Nature when the need to create in that way will no longer exist. Therefore, the capacity of entering into relation with the joy of life will rise by one step or will be oriented differently. But what the ancient spiritual aspirants had sought on principle—sexual negation—is an absurd thing, because this must be only for those who have gone beyond this stage and no longer have animality in them. And it must drop off naturally, without effort and without struggle. To make of it a centre of conflict and struggle is ridiculous. It is only when the consciousness ceases to be human that it drops off quite naturally. Here also there is a transition which may be somewhat difficult, because the beings of transition are always in an unstable equilibrium; but within oneself there is a kind of flame and a need which makes it not painful—it is not painful effort, it is something that one can do with a smile. But to seek to impose it upon those who are not ready for this transition is absurd.

It is common sense. They are human, but they must not pretend that they are not.

It is only when spontaneously the impulse becomes impossible for you, when you feel that it is something painful and contrary to your deeper need that it becomes easy; then, well, externally you cut these bonds and it is finished.

It is one of the most convincing examples.’

The Mother: CWM 11

The important thing therefore is to be honest and sincere with a will turned in the right direction, that is towards growing sincerity,  progressive mastery and conquest with faith in the Grace and the Mother’s Help that makes us overcome every difficulty if we persist in the aspiration and the effort refusing to give up.  But to make absolute rules of black and white while one is still laboring under shades of grey is often a whitewashing of the difficulty rather than an authentic mastery and eventual transformation. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da