In March, there was a phone call that really shook me. My father got very angry — his tone was harsh and intimidating. He began yelling, He accused me of being disrespectful and irresponsible, even though I hadn’t done anything wrong. I tried to stay calm and explain myself, but he wouldn’t listen. At one point, he demanded my Dean’s phone number and said he would call and get my Transfer Certificate issued so I’d have to leave the university. Hearing that completely broke me in the moment. I remember holding the phone, shaking and crying after the call ended. It wasn’t just fear — it was the feeling that I had no voice, no space to be understood.
After that, something inside me changed. I couldn’t concentrate in class, my mind felt scattered, and I was constantly anxious — as if I was bracing for something bad to happen again. That was when I eventually began the medication, hoping it would help me find some steadiness. But even now, after stopping it, the anxiety hasn’t really left.
Still, I’m trying to take your words to heart — to look inward, to see how I can find strength from within rather than letting these experiences define me. It’s difficult, but I’m slowly learning to observe my reactions, to breathe through the chaos, and to trust that something deeper in me can stay steady no matter what happens outside
Take The Mother and Sri Aurobindo as your parents and turn towards them for everything. Pray to them for freedom from all fear and anxiety and try to feel Their Presence everywhere as if they are always with you.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
