AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER

I feel completely lost and depressed. Nothing in my life is going the way I want. My job isn’t giving me the financial stability I desire, and no matter how hard I try, I feel stuck. My wife left me, my girlfriend left me, and I have no one to turn to. I come home to an empty space, and it feels unbearable. Sometimes, I don’t even want to come home at all, I just want to disappear. The loneliness is crushing. I long for a life partner, someone to stand by me, but no one ever stays. Is it wrong to want that? Is it too much to ask for someone who truly cares? I drink just to escape these thoughts, but the pain always comes back. I don’t know how much longer I can keep going like this.

First thing first. Nothing and nobody is or should be more important than your own life and progress, unless you are in love, which is not the case. If you want care then first you must give care. Fill your loneliness with learning new things rather than alcohol which is only going to make things worse. Trust God and His plans and in your free time do some social service where you may possibly find some friends to share your journey. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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Often when I go into solitude for meditation🧘‍♀️ for a prolonged period interesting things happen. Prophetic dreams, etc. 1.5 years ago I was down with covid and couldn’t see anyone for a week. I was feeling very bad and spent entire days sleeping. One day, I woke up from such a heavenly dream that I will never forget that experience. The dream was very very simple — it was me walking around some “school” if it can even be called that” with a few friends. The location was in some picturesque place in the nature. And I literally felt when I woke up that I wish I had NEVER woken up. It was such a deep feeling of loss that I experienced when I woke up because what I felt in the dream was just absolute Bliss. There is simply no other way to describe that state. And I bet in life there is no experience that can compare with the state of supreme serenity, absolute happiness, and joy beyond all imagination. Just wanted to share this because I haven’t felt that way since, and I still don’t know why that beautiful experience came in the middle of my illness. Could it be that my mind was completely shut off at that point in time, so I could experience something much deeper?

Sometimes a state of outer crisis, an illness for instance, open an inner door of help. A withdrawl from the waking state is anyways conducive to an awakening into the inner worlds some of …

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