I wish to step back, and not get involved or indulged in their workings or activities anymore. However, their expectations (even the society’s expectations) from me are to showcase a very amicable and positive relationship with them. While I do not wish to cause any trouble or participate in any arguments with them, I am also not comfortable with this front that I have to put on. I find myself asking – am I not lying if I pretend to be good with them, when inside me all I feel is anxiety, anger and fear and sometimes resentment also? Should I sit there and smile? Participate in talks like it doesn’t bother me? Go over the top to accommodate so I can be marked high on society’s scale of being good? Remain silent – which I have been doing and clearly has been upsetting the environment of the home. Is that also not wrong?
How should I approach this situation? Every time I ask Mother she guides me towards. “cling to truth” and “remain open to her”… but how?
It never helps to follow and try to fulfil social expectations of people. It is a kind of hypocrisy which is not good for our authentic growth. It distorts the consciousness.
At the same time feeling angry, anxious etc are not helpful for our growth. It is best not to care about social niceties, social opinions and stay silent with minimum of formal greetings. For the rest practice a witness attitude and inner equanimity. Stay with inner Remembrance and leave the rest in Her hands.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
