The Mother has given me a big responsibility in the form of mandala gazing meditation. To do that work properly, it’s very important for me to keep my mind calm. I have a lot of research and a lot of work to do besides marriage. But no one in my family is trying to understand this. My father is adamant that he will get me married this year.
The thing is, whatever my father has insisted on or asked my mother for, he has always gotten it. I’m afraid that my mother might fulfill his wish. I don’t want to get married.
Marraige is only a biological necessity that has been institutionalised by society into marraige. There is nothing deep or sacred about it. What is sacred and true is love and companionship but it is rarely found within the framework of marraige. More and more youngsters are realising this difference and are opting to stay out of marraige and prefer a healthy companionship instead. It is a good trend. But the old generation representing the old way of life do not understand it. They have their own beliefs and there is no need to challenge that. But just as they have a right to understand and live life in their way, you have the right to lead it your way. Perhaps you need to assure them that you are quite capable of taking care of yourself and staying single for you is not a concession for a life of desires. It is needed to lead a life of purpose.
As to the Mother fulfilling people’s desires, it is a common error. People construct an image in their head of an omnipotent God who fulfils all that they want. But in reality they are just being fooled by their own desires. Strong desires have their own force and if to the intensity of their wish they add belief in help from the greater Divine Power then they do get fulfilled, not because the Divine granted them, nor because they are good for the person but because such is the way that the universe operates. It keeps us tied to the law of desires and thereby prevents us from true progress. Here is what The Mother herself has said about it.
‘You must accept all thingsβand only those thingsβthat come from the Divine. Because things can come from concealed desires. The desires work in the subconscious and attract things to you of which possibly you may not recognise the origin, but which do not come from the Divine but from disguised desires.”
If you have a strong desire for something you cannot get, you project your desire outside yourself. It goes off like a tiny personality separated from you and roams about in the world. It will take a little round, more or less large, and return to you, perhaps when you have forgotten it. People who have a kind of passion, who want something,βthat goes out from them like a little being, like a little flame into the surroundings. This little being has its destiny. It roams about in the world, tossed around by other things perhaps. You have forgotten it, but it will never forget that it must bring about that particular result…. For days you tell yourself: “How much I would like to go to that place, to Japan, for instance, and see so many things”, and your desire goes out from you; but because desires are very fugitive things, you have forgotten completely this desire you had thrown out with such a force. There are many reasons for your thinking about something else. And after ten years or more, or less, it comes back to you like a dish served up piping hot. Yes, like a piping-hot dish, well arranged. You say: “This does not interest me any longer.” It does not interest you ten or twenty years later. It was a small formation and it has gone and done its work as it could…. It is impossible to have desires without their being realised, even if it be quite a tiny desire. The formation has done what it could; it took a lot of trouble, it has worked hard, and after years it returns. It is like a servant you have sent out and who has done his best. When he returns you tell him: “What have you done?”β”Why? But, sir, it was because you wanted it!”
You cannot put forth a strong thought without its going out from you like a little balloon, as it were.’
So you see it is a question of whose egoistic desire and will is stronger. That is all. People do not want or care for the Divine Will hence their life goes tumbling and twisting for which they keep praising or blaming the Divine but it is their own aggrandised image that they call God and worship. The touch of the Divine liberates us from all desires and puts our will on the right track. This is what you are experiencing. So go ahead with your aspiration and keep offering it to the Mother. Nobody can force you to act against your will, even God does not do that. Keep your will firm and remember the Mother in your heart. Tell Her all your plans and leave the rest to Her.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
