I sometimes feel deep guilt or sadness about my past relationships. A few men in my life chose not to marry after our relationships ended and have said that they would only have married me. I am now happily married to someone else, but I sometimes wonder whether my presence in their lives prevented them from moving on, finding love, or living life fully. I am no longer in contact with them, but I hear these things through mutual friends. 😥🌹[…]

Did I unknowingly ruin their lives by being part of their journey? Am I responsible for the choices they made after our relationships ended? What is the fair way to look at this situation?

The decision to get married or live with someone is a serious one, especially marriage. It cannot be taken based on promises made during a state of emotion. The whole idea of courtship is that one takes time, spends time together and takes a conscious decision, a willed choice and not an emotional one. Sensations and emotions trigger the process of love, but then reason, higher goals are all to be considered before making the decision to spend a whole life together. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da