AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Being a bad friend: I see a certain insensitivity in me to other people. I lack empathy in some situations, and it makes me feel very bad about myself. I have lost friends in the past because of this. While I generally try to help people, there is something in me unsympathetic towards others. Because of this tendency, I feel myself incapable towards building lasting friendships. I have cried about it, and at this point I don’t even feel like having friends anymore because I’m conscious of this defect in my nature, so I don’t want to repeat the same cycle again and experience the same moral pain that I feel. For now, I can only observe it and feel bad about it. How to change it I have no idea🫤.

This is not such a big defect and in certain ways it is not necessarily a defect. It is possibly because you make your own choices and have your own mind, a kind of individuality that can sometimes become a barrier in opening to friends and people. As long as you are generally helpful you don’t need to blame yourself. Nor is there a need to have too many friends. Besides if you feel sometimes that you were possibly insensitive you can always convey this to them or recompense subsequently. Good friends always understand and do not leave a friend because of perceived defects of nature. So do not torment yourself too much about it. When you find a true friend you will automatically and naturally think of him and feel his joys and sorrows without making any effort.

Affectionately,

Alok Da

Share this…

Related Posts

Are the processes of Purification and Transformation the same thing? I have a little confusion. In the process of Purification, we face some adverse forces that are mentioned by Sri Aurobindo in the chapter ‘The difficulties of Transformation’. Are they the same? 🔥🌄[…]

Purification is the indispensable basis for liberation. It means removing the covering and coating of ignorance and falsehood that veils the true self. In the yoga seeking for mukti, the purification has to be less thorough. It is enough to bring some sattwic rectitude in nature, satwasanshuddhi. Transformation proper..

Read More >

Can we understand Sri Aurobindo and His yoga with the physical mind, as you say physical mind never grasps the Truth in its highest sense. So if we feel good by reading Sri Aurobindo or The Mother, even that is from the physical plane, wanting a good, perfect physical life. 😅❤️‍🔥🦋 […]

Yes, it is difficult for the physical mind to shift its fixed position and comfort zones..It feels lost and insecure. But once it accepts the New Idea then it gets firmly established there. It is somewhat like…

Read More >

The talk sounded like you were putting down Marriage as a concept! True, some regions do this horse ride/wasting money, which is in bad taste. However, Marriage as a concept gives the monkey minds a framework. 🥸💍💒[…]

Yes, I agree that for the average human being, these outer frameworks and social institutions do serve a purpose of holding people together. Of course, as I mentioned, marriage or not, love and togetherness can be beautiful and ought to be so. But for that, man needs to evolve beyond the present frameworks, which operate as long as one accepts the limits of dos and don’ts. …

Read More >