AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Hello Dada.. I am in lot of emotional distress and just nothing feels right. I donโ€™t know how to put it in word at some point I feel terrible about myself and at the same time not able to hold it anymore. Things have paradoxically changed. To be honest I have a complete different perception now which is difficult to explain to anyone also sometimes I feel is it a lot of my Ego speaking and thats why the conflicts?๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿฆ๐ŸŽญ๐Ÿชž

In every single situation I feel I have a parallel opinion with my own Mother. She is here with me as a guardian for my baby but there isnโ€™t a single time where I donโ€™t have conflicts. Her presence in one way assures me for while I sit for office work I rely completely on her but then alot of conflicts, I am trying my best to avoid or keep a control on self but nothing works as a result I end up arguing or outbursts.

These are too silly things to write Dada but just donโ€™t have any answers to these. Such things are a distraction from the Divine Life but these still have so much importance I donโ€™t understand how.

Please explain Dada After having the contact or opening of the Psychic door which we had earlier discussed and you had told me on visiting you that my consciousness is now being guarded by Sri Aurobindo and is in a Good state you even said โ€œ Khali ho rahi hain cheezeinโ€

But the why does it feel I have fallen to some black hole and no escape from these mere emotions or feelings? Are these also a part of all ? I donโ€™t understand

It is the struggle that most people of the new generation feel. The simplest way to deal with these things is to stay focused on your goal and not try to change people, however significant or close they may be in your life. To try changing others or to expect them to be other than what they are is the worst way of relationship, in fact the most common path to destroy it. We have to love people either unconditionally or at least in their best part. Everyone has something beautiful and good in them. At the same time everyone has their difficulties. It doesn’t help by focusing on the difficulties, certainly not by pointing others about their real or perceived defects. After all each one acts from their own vision and understanding, however limited. It is what is given to them. By expecting people to be other than what they are is to only end up in a downward spiral of fights and quarrels. 

The way out is to see and understand the game of life and let each one be themselves unless they are doing some great harm to themselves or to you or your loved one. Different parenting styles exist and it is difficult to say which one is definitively better except that rough handling and foul language is certainly harmful. But since you have not mentioned what exactly distresses you, I cannot comment on that. As to the rest, parents unfortunately instinctively feel they are superior and know more. The ego-self and social conditioning prevents them from accepting that they could be wrong. It is best not to interfere with that. In any case they have come for a short while and are there with goodwill and to help. Best is to overlook the differences, not to make them an issue and move steadily towards your own true goal. The more all these petty things drag you down the farther they will take you away from your true goal which will only frustrate more and more, nothing else. Step out of this vicious cycle and focus back on your aim of life regarding everything else as secondary and passing. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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