Generally, parents insist on their children’s marriage because they feel how their child will manage when they are away. It is partly a habitual thought, partly a protective instinct. They want to feel relieved of their duties. You need to assure them by words and by actions that you are fully capable of taking care of yourself and if a suitable boy comes into your life for whom you feel, then you won’t mind being together. Otherwise, they will keep pressing, especially as in India it has been customary to regard a girl as someone else’s wealth!
There is a biological side to this as well. While men can impregnate almost until well past middle age, for a woman, pregnancy is best and safest before 35.
Surely times have changed and there are an increasing number of girls who choose to remain single. There are also couples who choose not to have a child for conscious reasons. There are deep bonds of love that do not go through the smokescreen of marriage, relationships such as live-in, etc. All these can be seen as steps towards a future evolution. But for conventional parents and the average social milieu, these things ring a bell of alarm rather than progress towards an individual freedom, which is the demand and need of the Age. Whatever it be it is best to take a conscious decision and try to assure the parents that you are quite strong and capable and independent. A harmoniously undertaken decision is always best in the long run, even if it is a bit more difficult.ย
Affectionately,
Alok Da
