I cannot stop what my mind thinks sometimes, many times. When I am alone, I let it happen. That is the sad part. Under its influence or not, MY DEATH appears very sweet. I have reached this point. In September, the doctor recommended sleeping and a depression pill for 28 days, which I took. Am I really depressed?
Also, I am currently taking TMZ medicine. It’s my 4th cycle of treatment for cancer. Only two cycles are left. The point is, is it due to medicine or myself?
I don’t want to die. I will actually die, seeing the pace at which my thoughts are going. I fear knife cuz i I see in my mind’s eye, kill me or my family or anyone who is in front of me. My visualization works instantly and flashes in front of my eyes. I fear. About anything that can kill or hurt. I want to have peace within me. I take myself to the place that gives me sadness, from where fear originates, all the time. Please help me. Guide me. Ask me.
Death is never a sweet thing unless one is conscious of the Divine. We are here to progress through all the challenges of life. But for that, the mind must turn away from its difficulties and engage in remembrance of the Divine. One should not contemplate upon death or think of sadness and fear. Instead, make a conscious effort to think of beauty, light, peace, goodness, harmony. Pray to The Mother to give you peace and free yourself from this unhappy state. At the same time, keep yourself busy and read beautiful, uplifting books so that the mind is diverted from morbid thoughts and feelings.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
