It’s been more than a year I am alone. And I am not at the age where I should stop socializing; I feel the need to be around my friends, make new friends.
But I am angry on Mother as well; the more I surrender to her, the more she makes me alone. I cannot stay angry with Mother because I love her so much, so at the end of the day I tell “What You Will…..” And she makes me alone. When this dark period of not having friends will end?
And one more thing I want to ask, what my psychic wills is completely different and what my Mental, Vital, Physical wills is different. Than I have seen that always the Will of the psychic is fulfilled, and I am not happy as an Human with that. Why dada? I feel the more I get into Sadhana, my life becomes more dry.
Actually, you have yourself answered it. There is something in you that seeks the Divine, but there are parts of nature that refuse. The ‘loneliness’ has been provided so that you can make a conscious choice. The dryness of which you speak is only a passage, but generally full of inner quietude and calm in which the seeds of the future are nurtured. Once the future knocks at the door, it is best not to delay and linger. As you mentioned, your friends have already moved on towards what they wanted. It is time for you also to move on. As I said friends will come as you move decisively towards the future.
Affectionately
Alok Da
