This so-called spiritual path was never meant for me and it was nothing but an utter foolishness my heart chose and believed in for years, trying to find the meaning only to find there is nothing, nothing for me. If this is the road the Divine leads to, then he is the actual villain and not the asuras. I am done. Done with everything.
Dear child
I can understand your anger towards the Divine because you have faced certain difficulties and challenging situations and circumstances. I am not sure if the mere act of turning against the Divine will help. If there is, as you believe, an omnipotent Manichean God who inflicts sufferings then isn’t it better to simply try to sort out things with your own inner understanding and strength rather than open another front against the Divine. And if, contrary to your belief and limited understanding, there is actually a Divine who is well-meaning and wants to help, then why turn against and close the doors to whatever small or big help He may be trying to help you. Why not just continue your effort, taking the challenge of life, regardless of your belief or non-belief in God. After all, he is not going to lose anything in the process, though you may.
Besides, does one give up so soon, in fact, ever in life. Should you not apply reason and see if your conclusions are premature and based on faulty premises, such as, for example, if there is a Divine, then He must ensure all my difficulties are over. At least that has never been the case with the Pandavas, all His chosen ones, including Rama himself. Try to understand why it is so. Maybe the answer lies there.
I can’t say more since you haven’t written about the nature of your difficulties. If you feel appropriate you can write to me about them.
Meanwhile, sending you Love and prayers.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
