How would I balance my mind & overcome all the above situations? Sir, I am still on the path of Sri Aurobindo & The Mother. (No other spiritual path or gurus in my mind). Intellectually, I can know & understand many things, but Devotion, Surrender to The Mother doesn’t come from the Heart.
Generally, this dimming of the aspiration happens because we have not worked on removing the smoke of ignorance that stifles the fire in us. The fire of aspiration has to be fed through Remembrance of the Divine Mother. The smoke of desires, passions, attachments removed by the winds of enthusiasm for Her Service. The heavy logs of inertia and laziness removed for the fire to grow. It helps greatly to read something from Their writings every day and take up some regular exercises.
I do not know why you need to continue with a venture where there is constant ongoing loss. You need to think about it and perhaps change the course of your life.
Below are a few passages of the Mother that will help us understand how our nature often cancels our soul’s aspiration through contradictory movements within us. The remedy lies in detecting all that contradicts or resists the Divine Will in us and, with Her help, trying to remove these elements.
‘There is a positive side and a negative side to this work.
The positive side is to increase one’s aspiration, develop one’s consciousness, unify one’s being, to go within in order to enter more and more into contact with one’s psychic being; to take up all the parts, all the movements, all the activities of one’s being and put them before this psychic consciousness so that they fall into their true place in relation to this centre; finally, to organise all one’s aspiration towards the Divine and one’s progress towards the Divine. That is the positive side.
At the same time the negative side consists in refusing methodically and with discernment all the influences which come from outside or from the subconscient or inconscient or from the environment, and stand in the way of spiritual progress. One must discern these influences, suggestions, impulses, and systematically refuse them without ever getting discouraged by their persistence and ever yielding to their will. One must, at the same time, observe clearly in one’s being all its different elements, obscure, egoistic, unconscious, or even ill-willed, which consciously or otherwise, answer these bad influences, and allow them not only to penetrate into the consciousness, but sometimes to get settled there. That is the negative side.
Both must be practised at the same time. According to the moment, the occasion, the inner readiness, you must insist now on one, now on the other, but never forget either of them.’
Affectionately,
Alok Da
