He says I didn’t give him respect and honesty, and that’s all he ever wanted from me. But that’s not true. I’ve been there for him for the past three years, but in the last one or two months, I’ve been a little distant as I wasn’t feeling the same intense love that he showed me in the beginning. Now he blocked me everywhere. We’re in a long-distance relationship. Should I go to his house to make things right? I called him 50 times and texted him to speak with me, but he keeps saying, ‘You’ll never change, you’re not a good person, you’re disrespectful,’ and so on. He says he’s suffering in this relationship despite all his efforts, and he doesn’t want to be forced because he’s in a good space now. But that’s not how things are—I didn’t expect him to act this way with me.
What should I do to make him understand and talk to me? Should I call his mom? If I do, what should I tell her? How do I explain myself? Maybe he’s just angry, which is why he’s behaving this way. It’s been 15 days, and I’m crying every day. The tension is overwhelming.
Very often, with passage of time, we take each other for granted. Especially after the initial rush and fervour of love is over, a lull tends to come and there is tendency towards dullness or a mechanical continuance of relationship. In long distance relationship there is an initial advantage because the ego does not rub as closely. But after a while the thought that the loved one is not there when needed may set in because physical proximity does cement closeness in certain ways.
Your friend being very emotional makes him even more vulnerable. Right now his hurt, real or imaginary, is raw and the more you message or call, the more it will flare up. Calling his mother will not help unless you are very close to her. Given a choice moms side with their son regardless. Dads are little different in this regard. Explaining yourself will also not help. What you should do is to send him a thoughtful gift that would reflect your care and respect for him. Having done that, give him his space and time. Love cannot be forced upon. If he is meant for you, he will return. Meanwhile, you should busy yourself with work, fitness, studies, career, etc, as this is the first necessity and demand for your age.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
