Space and freedom is necessary for growth so that each can progress along one’s own unique line. At the same time each supports the other person’s aspiration, is there to give each other care and comfort, share and counsel, understand each other’s struggle and support through the difficulties. It means a beautiful friendship where one can trust and count upon each other for help if and when the need arises. This much is possible and doable.
The problem comes when the two begin to live together sharing the physical space and carry the burden of each other’s family and relationships. This often encroaches upon the space especially where the relatives are not ready to let you grow along your line and interfere in all you do with the idea that we know better. These social aspects sap lot of energy and time especially when one is expected to participate in all the social functions and behave often in unnatural ways. It is this which stifles and it is here that space needs to be given with no compulsion on the partner to be this or that, do this or that. To take care and be there in times when needed is one thing but to conform to all kinds of demands and expectation is quite another and unhealthy for growth and progress.
For the rest they should be together in as many things and as many ways as possible and be happy to share moments of togetherness. That’s what love is about, the joy of togetherness, of walking together, hand in hand towards a great and high and noble ideal. If space means each busy in his own world and own life with only few meeting points with regard to certain common practical issues then it generally means that love has passed away and only threads of attachment are holding the two together.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
