My husband and I were working part time and taking turns to take care of your daughter who is now 1 3/4 year old. Now, my husband has been asked to start working full time and it is difficult to do so while taking care of a toddler at home. We end up working nights and early morning. Yet, it becomes difficult on busy days with deadlines and while attending meetings. We have had to make a very difficult decision of enrolling her in a childcare center. This is her second week, she goes for 2-3 hours – 3 days a week. It is very difficult for her, and I feel her pain. It is as if something inside me is being ripped into pieces.
I suffer from separation anxiety since childhood, although my parents were always there for me and I was brought up in a joint family. I don’t understand why it is so. However, I have therefore been very careful to not let my daughter to go through this – it took me 20 months to establish a security in her so she would become free and less clingy on her own. I feel that this particular change has affected her very much.
Mother has said not to leave children in the care of servants, I do not want to leave her alone in an unknown place which is more like a shock for her yet developing nervous system. I had asked Mother to indicate to us when she was ready and make a spot in childcare available- and we followed through when it happened, however now I do not know which way to go? Please guide.
Having said this, I had a small request- if you may give some talks on Child Psychology or on how to help children and our selves in day to day life.
All I do is just pray to Mother to let her will prevail and be with my daughter that she may always feel Mother’s presence in the childcare, and never feel alone.
It is true that leaving children with servants is not very advisable but then these centres have evolved over a period of time, perhaps under the evolutionary pressure. What is needed is to reward her through enough expressions of love through touch when she returns as well as keep some physical object with which she connects your presence, something like a handkerchief of yours. It is good you are regularly praying and offering to The Mother. I am sure she will grow through it all into a strong, intelligent and independent girl.
One has to adapt to the changing situations of life. Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
