Tonight, in my semi-conscious state, I saw a video of auromas, then a person appeared at the Mother’s feet. Then, the Kali Maa Kali Maa started spontaneously within me.
Dada, today, for the first time, I meditated on the picture of Sri Maa. There was peace and joy in my thoughts, and it was as if I could feel the presence of the Mother.
But Dada, isn’t doing this a betrayal of my Guru? I feel a lot of restlessness within me, but I don’t know what happened. I don’t feel any attraction to Gurudev’s picture, and the restlessness within me begins.
Guru is the giver of Light. How can moving from Light to Light be a deception. Whatever be the past of our outer personality, the inner being, and the soul always recognises the Divine Mother and it is only natural that as our soul evolves it feels attracted towards the Divine Mother. Besides these things such as the Guru are not decided by a mental calculation but an inner soul instinct or intuition. The problem is actually this that the physical meeting and physical association with the Master becomes a bond of a different kind. It is somewhat like a family attachment rooted in physical association. But then the true association and bonding is and must always be spiritual. The Guru is the Light that answers to the soul’s aspiration. That is what one has to always remember.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
