AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

What is the place of romance in a relationship—kissing, hugging, showing love, and talking about it? Is that the only form of romance? I feel that in my relationship we have already experienced that part, and now I would like to connect more intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. But sometimes my partner says I’m boring 😥[conti]

How much does physical intimacy play a role in a long-term relationship? How can I better understand my partner’s concern, and how can I help them understand me?

Romance is more like the courtship dance in animals. It attracts the boy and the girl through mutual charm and attraction. But as love grows and intimacy develops, romance begins to take a backseat and occupies a relatively smaller and secondary place in the relationship. If a relationship is to endure it must evolve from the initial stage of romance to a deeper emotional connect expressed as tender affection, sympathy, care, affinity of common tastes  and, further towards intellectual companionship. But this is not the last possibility. It can and should grow further to a joining of aspiration, mutual idealism, higher goals providing support to each other in the total journey of life. 

As to physical intimacy, it has its place as part of the total union. However, like romance it goes into the background as the couple evolve together towards a higher life. It is certainly not as important as it is made out to be and drops off after a point as a relic of the animal past replaced by sweeter and more refined expressions of physical intimacy and love. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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