There is no single cause and hence no single lesson. But a general lesson to learn is that human beings live in a colossal ignorance. They are mostly driven by the ego and desires and live for personal happiness. They don’t much believe in sacrifice and evolving together in a relationship. We often want a ready made perfect match. Often we make the mistake of projecting our ideas of an ideal partner on the person only to later discover that it was a colouring of our perceptions, an illusion created by attraction and perpetuated by attachment. But very few know love which alone can sustain a relationship for long. This is the lesson that we are here to learn.
The sum and substance is that it is not about you and her. Most relationships run into trouble because of the reasons mentioned above. Some continue if there are social pressures and added strong attachment due to a child. In any case relationships, like everything else, are not ready-made perfect. They have to develop through mutual trust and respect, engaging in common activities, especially a common ideal. Relationships don’t work if there is one-sided investment. There should be either a mutual emotional investment or else a joint investment in a high and common goal. Otherwise they tend to become mechanical and wear off with time.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
