Everything was so beautiful in the beginning. My aspiration remembering offering everything was on right direction. Why things getting worse.
Because the ego came in and thought that the victory has been won. It is not so easy. With things like sex the more you pay attention and think about them, even about suppressing them, the more vehemently they rise. It is much better to build the positive side of the sadhana first, to call Peace, practice inner detachment, grow in love, devotion and service, keep yourself preoccupied with reading, study, exercise so that you are sufficiently tired and have little time to laze around. For the rest practice samyama (moderation) right now then nigraha (forced suppression). And most importantly do not engage in thoughts of guilt and loss or fear of ruin. That is worse than sex. Keep walking steadily on the path with faith in the omnipotence of the Divine Grace. Stay cheerful and all will come near in due course of time.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
