At every single stage right from initial mamography till the recent surgery I was able to maintain the faith and pray and have confidence in their blessings. I made choices wrt doctors, hospitals and her treatment so far by keeping Shri Maa in my prayers. Whenever I felt very down I kept chanting maa maa. But now I am begining to doubt myself as to whether the choices related to her treatment so far were correctly made by me. I am losing confidence in myself.
With the recent update of chemo being advised to my mother I am finding myself very weak and I am begining to think that Shri Maa and Shri Arvind dont listen to my deepest and most sincere prayers.
I am not writing this with the intention of sounding doubtful of their divinity but we desperately need some help as to what we can read or do or some particular videos which we can watch so that we have courage to think that sab accha karege bhagwaan.. and All can be done if Gods’ touch is there.
Sri Aurobindo and the Mother are here to transform earthly life precisely because it is imperfect. The human body is still not responsive to the spiritual and divine forces. A little extra pressure and it would break down. It is a work none has undertaken but it is still a work in progress.
However there is so much more that can be done. It is important to remember that we are not just the body and the main purpose of earthly life is progress. Difficulties are opportunities to progress and one of the progress that one can make in the face of illness is to rise above the feeling that the body is everything. The body is simply a porous container. Your mother is so much more than that. In her deepest core she is, like all of us, an immortal soul on her own unique journey. This journey and all the needed evolution cannot take place in a single lifetime. Death is simply a transition, a departure into another domain, to return into new and better circumstances of life. Should one be afraid of it? Disease is a challenge to test our truth and surrender and make our courage and determination and endurance stronger. Should we lament it?
As to your decision, you have made the right choice for surgery. The advice of chemotherapy and radiotherapy is also a correct advice. Most breast cancers are curable if one gives the full course. Yes, chemo and radio may not be pleasant (though most of them are now quite safe and well tolerated) but sometimes one has to take the difficult road. If it comes our way then we should go through it with faith, surrender and confidence in the Grace. Keep this faith and be a,spiritual warrior. Jo Bhagwaan karenge wo accha hi hoga bhale hi humein ye abhi samajh nahin aa raha ho. Whatever God does is always good even if we may not understand it at the moment. Keep this attitude and all will be well.
Pray and write to the Mother all that is happening regularly and seek Her Help with a simple heart. All will be well.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
