But in my case, I’ve been listening to talks and reading many things. When the same themes are repeated over and over, — do they lose their force to change my life? Do I become numb to them? Why am I not able to let them change my life so deeply? Only my thinking has changed, if at all.
Having a mental understanding, being able to reproduce the arguments, is not enough (as I’ve heard in your talks and also felt in my own life).
I could (in the course of an argument, I will be very careful in opening my mouth henceforth) explain to my relative what the difference is between Sri Aurobindo’s Teaching and the Jnana Yoga of Advaita Vedanta, etc.
Whereas my relative can earnestly say that he is living according to the teaching he has received, I cannot. I don’t want to remain an empty noise-making vessel, sir.
This is a difficulty not unique to you. In most human beings, the mind picks up ideas relatively quickly, but the will is not taken up fully, the aspiration is still a wavering flame and the lower vital is full of difficulties. These other parts are often not willing or ready to follow the leader Mind. However, if the flame of aspiration is strong and the psychic being begins to take the lead more and more by bringing in the element of bhakti, sewa (service) and surrender to the Divine Mother, then it becomes easier to change. The focus, therefore, should be on the practice of the yoga, especially finding the psychic being. Reading and listening are no doubt helpful preparations, very useful in their own way, but certainly it is not enough.
Having said that, it is true that practice of the Vedantic forms of Yoga is no doubt easier than the yoga of transformation, as, in the former, there is no stress on the change of nature.
Yes, it is a good practice to avoid these discussions and put into practice whatever one is reading. But the joy and enthusiasm of sharing the discovery of a rare treasure is quite understandable.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
