Moreover, I have become more vulnerable to harshness and cheating of any kind and lies and deceit.
I have always been polite to everyone but I could never involve myself in any parties or functions or meeting realtives and friends etc as I don’t find it meaningful. But I am feeling more and more alone and empty from within. The inner friend doesn’t reply.
I have only one friend / with whom I talk daily . But I have seen lot of lies and false promises with that friend too. I never ever got much attached to anyone till date and I used to call The mother and the detachment was easy but this time I am feeling hurt so deeply that no amount of reasoning is working. I am praying too. Still, it becomes very difficult for me at night to manage myself and sleep when all the subconscious thoughts come up and reasoning doesn’t work.
I don’t understand whether this is some karma of mine or any other reason but I want to come out of this pain. I want to progress from within and want calm, peace and happiness from within. Please guide me. I try to read Prayers and Meditation, Savitri but nothing is helping. With all these things, I feel that instead of progress it’s a setback. Everything seems declining.
One should focus primarily on one’s own inner growth and outer progress first. Relations are quite a waste of time. Yes one should have a goodwill towards all, be generally good and kind and helpful but your life is your life and you must make your choices based on what you feel is best. There are many much better things to do than keeping up with relationships.
There is nothing to be afraid of being alone. It is a great blessing in fact. Expect nothing from people. Keep your trust in the Mother alone and you will be most happy.
The important thing is that as long as we believe that the cause of our misery is outside us, we end up in a vicious cycle of blame and complaint. But real progress begins when we examine our own weaknesses, attachments, fears and learn to or find ways to overcome them. It is important therefore to find our own goal, find the aim of our life, grow conscious of the purpose of our existence and then walk towards it with courage and faith. If we cannot do that then there is no point complaining. One has to take charge of one’s life but most important is to know what exactly do we want. Reflect upon your goal independent of what others think or not. Trying to struggle with relationships is, whether they are pleased or opposed is quite a waste of time.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
