Many times, I offer my problems to the Mother and more particularly in this regard. But I cannot look into Her eyes. What should I do and how should I protect myself from being insincere and not let my sincerity fall? I have cried in the past and now also I cry and become disturbed when I have to say lie which is not aligned with my core values. I feel that I don’t respect my sincerity, which is the first value of the Mother’s symbol.
I always pray to the Mother that may I be sincere, may you bless me to be sincere. May I always remember you, Maa. But it troubles me to the core with this thought that one day, if my friends come to know I was not sincere to them, then what will I do? I will break into pieces because it is these values that will bring me closer to my inner friend. Please guide me, Alok da.
Sincerity is a most rare and difficult quality to acquire. Besides, it is in relation to the Divine that we must grow sincere. What you mean probably is honesty with regard to friends. If it is about hiding things from them, it is not so much of a serious issue. Nobody can or is expected to share everything with all friends. It is only when you are committed to someone in a relationship that a certain degree of transparency is expected. But here too there will be limitations of what can be shared and what cannot be shared. Given the present state of human nature, and the gross misunderstandings and confusions to which it is prone, a golden silence is always a better option.
Telling lies is a little more serious issue. Not because of the risk of discovery, but because it twists something in our nature which can become a problem in sadhana as well as life. A safe rule is not to hide anything from The Mother. Share everything with Her, opening your heart fully before Her. She never judges or condemns and is ever ready to help. Tell Her everything. Share all with Her. Pray to Her for an increase in sincerity and take little steps in that direction. She will pull you out completely from every difficulty.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
