At the start of our relationship, he told me he was trying to quit, so I thought I should support him. But even now, it’s been 3 years, and he is still doing it. He told me it’s better and he is doing it less, but now I know he is not. I am so tired of understanding him. I really want to be with him and not with this habit and also, he has changed a lot, I mean, his behaviour towards me has changed a lot. What should I do? As I am really confused, should I see Hari in him and be with him?
Smoking and drinking are extremely difficult to quit. Being in a relationship with someone with these two habits is going to be very straining in the long run. In a relationship, one should look for long-term togetherness. Short-term attractiveness, outer looks, etc do not last long. The important thing is whether your thoughts, aims and goals match. And since it is difficult to be clear about these things until one reaches an inner maturity which usually comes by 25, rushing into long-term commitments, marriage, etc are not advisable until one reaches a zone of inner stability and clarity about one’s goals and purposes. Short-term happiness is a different thing. But a committed relationship is best after 25. And if the burden of smoking and alcohol is already there in the very beginning, then it is going to be a bad start. Those who are serious about quitting don’t linger long.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
