Or if it is not that, unless I finish all the ones you mentioned as necessary, I would be anxious whether something taken as a certainty in the course of my incomplete reading at any time would be upended in a later succession; also, I would have to wait for a full assemblage of all necessary information from all those works for the most well-rounded and effective understanding and practice. I want to begin first and read those works in parallel, not to define but to deepen my practice.
I know the basics are aspiration, rejection and surrender. From what you sent, it feels like I was doing a lot of “nigraha” in the name of rejection and the attempted victories were being constantly frustrated by sudden, powerful attacks. I want to know the technicalities properly.
Aspiration is something that rises from the heart. It can take the form of seeking for the Divine, a longing that grows and turns it into a single aim, a cry that takes the form of a wordless prayer. It is a fire that burns in the heart, gradually spreading from there to the rest of our being until all is consumed by the urge or quest for the Divine. In its essence, it is seeking the Divine for the sake of the Divine until He becomes the very reason for our existence.
In actual practice, it starts with an attraction for the Divine through the form or philosophy that draws one spontaneously. The mind begins to dwell upon the idea until one day the heart catches fire. Be in the company of those who carry this flame, including the partner who shares your life with you. As a corollary, avoid all that dims or clouds the aspiration.
How to reject?
The Mother has advised offering the movement that one wants to get rid of so that the Divine takes up the burden of the Yoga. If the offering is sincere, then the Divine Force begins to cleanse our system until all is clear and glad and uplifted and tranquil and free.
How to surrender?
Start with the practice of Remember and Offer. Act, but offer the results entirely into the hands of the Divine. Observe yourself and offer to the Divine Mother all that you want to change to the Divine Mother. Try to attune the movements of your nature in tune with the Divine Will that can be felt in a calm heart.
The first thing is to aspire for calm, peace, equanimity. It is important to avoid all impatience and despondency. Yoga is done with a glad heart.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
