To be honest, I have always dreamed of having a love marriage rather than a traditional arranged marriage. I hope to build a relationship based on mutual understanding, friendship, and genuine love. More than anything, I want my married life to be peaceful, happy, and fulfilling.
At the same time, I am becoming increasingly worried about the delay in my marriage. Sometimes I wonder whether I am making the right decisions or waiting for the right person. I would be truly grateful if you could guide me and share your thoughts or advice regarding my future and marriage.
Marriage, whether love or arranged, is a blind date. It is because life of does not come in standard formats. There are invariable challenges through which one may grow or break down. In simple words, life is an evolutionary jigsaw puzzle and marriage is no exception to this rule. If you are bent upon an ideal, – which is good, then you should be equipped to build it. The secret of a happy, lasting, wide relationship lies in the power of love within you. By its very nature, love is transformative and its powers does not depend upon the nature of marriage or even of the person you marry. If you harness this power within you by loving all creatures around, then anyone, except for the rarest, will, of themselves, change beautifully. People change spontaneously by the power of love. On the other hand, if the base of relationship is ego, me and myself, then even the best relationship with the best of persons is likely to go down and turn into a struggle. Most relationships suffer because neither is ready and willing to sacrifice and give; instead, they want and expect, which almost invariably brings pain. In simple words, there is no ready lunch or a ready-made relationship meant for each other. But every relation has the potential to become beautiful and happy if both nurture a high ideal and are willing to work through towards it. This is easiest if both partners share a high and beautiful Ideal. All that is needed is to share your ideal with your would-be partner and see if both of you hold the similar aim. If so, then it is worth taking the chance and trying it out.
One simple advice I will give you. Do not invest so much time and energy in trying to find the perfect partner. Instead, spend time and energy on being the perfect partner, embodying the beautiful qualities you wish to see in others. The more you embody them in you, the more you are likely to find them in others and draw similar kind. Life becomes happy, beautiful and peaceful if one carries love in the heart and is giving by nature. Above all, trust the Divine Wisdom that operates behind appearances. Appearances often deceive. See the deeper and higher values that the person holds and be ready to work for building them together.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
