My Problem: Whenever someone behaves unpleasantly with me, gets angry at me, or says something that I feel is inappropriate, I am unable to speak up or protest at that moment. Instead, my anger instantly gets suppressed inside, and a wave of intense resentment builds up in my mind towards that person. Automatically, my mind starts imagining scenarios of hitting them. I consciously keep checking myself and telling my mind, “This is absurd and pointless.” Even though I tell myself this, such thoughts do not stop, and my mind ends up on the same track again.
Kindly guide me on how to overcome this state of mind.
I understand your inner dilemma. But often it is better to tell the person that he is being hurtful rather than keep the anguish inside. Expressing yourself honestly, firmly, though not rudely or in anger, is the little inner change that is needed. It will help you and might also help the person and, if the person is honest, eventually improve the relationship. When you simply accept rude behaviors, you are not only hurting yourself but also setting a pattern in your relationship that is unhealthy for both. At least one must be able to convey one’s true feelings if a relationship has to be honest. It does not mean reacting in anger. It means that one simply and naturally shows the mirror by telling the person that he is being hurtful. Of course, one should not engage in conversation when someone is angry, as the person is not himself at that moment and is likely to become more and more aggressive. Just communicate that he or she is being hurtful and then leave the room so that the vibrations do not affect you.
Next, you should offer the event and your reactions to the Divine Mother and pray for Peace in you as well as the person who is angry. Call for Peace. With a little bit of practice, it will begin to come as soon as you ask for it, washing away the reaction and the ill effects of the anger.
Affectionately,
Alok da
