However, I find it very difficult to not take things personally and shrug them off. For example, if someone says I’m stupid and good for nothing, I really start to think that I am, even though it may not be completely true. I try not to take things to heart, but it can get difficult at times. It makes me very sad and affects my self-esteem.
I had very low self-esteem and self-confidence as a child and I would constantly compare myself with others in an unhealthy way. It took me many, many years to have build self-confidence, but because of my past, I can be a bit vulnerable sometimes. How do I not let other people’s comments affect me?
These people who point out the real or unreal defects of others are like the dark touchstones that tests the purity of gold and absorbs the mixture into themselves. They are not objects of scorn but of thankfulness since they help others progress while keeping themselves filled with the defects they point out in others. It is a subtle law of life that we see in others what we carry within us. Those who discover God within see God in all. Whereas those who carry filth within see filth in others. These people already hurt themselves by living in the consciousness of the defects they find in others. There is no need to be angry at them. If their observation is right, then they help us to progress. If they have observed wrongly, as they often do, they are hurting themselves. This is because we see in the world what we carry within us.
Affectionately
Alok Da
