As someone drawn to abstraction and personal experience over dogma, I wonder if worshiping them as the absolute acme of the Divine is necessary to receive higher spiritual guidance. I ask for your compassionate insight and counter-thoughts to help me move past this inner block.
There is nothing disrespectful about what you write. There are many seekers who start this way. The Mother herself has confirmed that generally seekers turn towards Sri Aurobindo, go through certain experiences before they come in contact with her. It is partly because of the consciousness being centered in the mind that this happens. Yoga itself seems, in the beginning and for quite some time, a play of high intellectuality and philosophy rather than a matter of the heart or a contact with a living and intimate Reality that we are always secretly seeking. To tell you frankly, my own approach initially was of this kind. The Synthesis of Yoga and The Secret of the Vedas was in my hand. I didn’t need anything or anyone, I felt or thought. In fact, I was not at all in favor of human gurus and believed that the Divine doesn’t need any intermediaries. The idea of the Avatar was even more remote. Until one day suddenly, most unexpectedly, She seized me and all these intellectual resistances, valid in their own domain while we navigate through ignorance, simply crumbled. The Mother was no more another exalted human being or a realised saint and yogi, but the Divine assuming a human body to come near us, speak to us in the language we understand, hold us by the hand and tailor-make the path for each one of us. But this moment must come of itself. There is even a great joy in its spontaneity that is lost if one tries to intellectually convince oneself. So wait for the moment. Meanwhile, carry on steadily with faith in the Divine Grace that has called you to the Path and is carrying you through it in the way that is best for you.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
