I donโt really feel connected to doing it just for the sake of it. But if I try to tell her that I donโt like doing all this, sheโll get upset. What do you think is the right approach in such a situation? Did you ever feel the same way, and if yes, how did you handle it?
As an adolescent, I would react against all these customs and traditions, not because they are wrong, but because they are not needed to express the inner bond of love between a sister and brother.ย Later, on taking up the Yoga, my attachment with the family of birth grew nearly non-existent. I would generally keep the Rakhis before the Mother and pray for all who sent them. The true family, I felt was the family connected through the common Godward aspiration. Later, as the consciousness widened and the Divine Presence could be felt in everyone and everything, then all these distinctions and differentiations ceased to exist. Of course, the bond between co-travellers is always very special and is our true family. But there also comes an understanding that each person has his or her own unique approach towards life, unique values and ways of expression. But behind all these outer differences there is, at the core, love and affection. So I look at that, respond to that and discard the rest. These are anyways sweet little gestures and even when one outgrows them, one can understand why others need it. As long as they help us grow closer to the deeper psychic core, of which love, affection, care are beautiful notes in the overall harmony, it is fine.ย
In a different, though slightly larger context, Rakhi does serve a higher social purpose of building a sweet and beautiful bond between boys and girls than what we often see. The Sanatana Dharma uses many such symbols to tie and knit together the various relations in life around a divine truth, turning it into a sacred knot, an otherwise biological and social, familial bond and togetherness into something deeper, sacred and spiritual, lifting everything towards divinity. Here is a passage from Sri Aurobindo on the occasion of Rakhi as expressed in the Karmayogi.ย
‘There is yet another unity which is as yet only dimly symbolised in the ceremony of the Rakhi, a unity which cannot come into being until a perfect comradeship in aspiration, in struggle, in suffering shall have been created throughout the length and breadth of the land,โthe unity in national comradeship of the children of one mighty Mother, whatever their class or condition,โIndian fraternity based on Indian liberty and Indian equality.’
(Ref. https://incarnateword.in/cwsa/08/union-day#p4)
Affectionately,
Alok Da
