It bothers me less now what success others get. But I feel stuck in my own state. Hence the dissatisfactionโฆ this sense of powerlessness. The other factor is the weekly pain of seeing Udita switch back and forth. She is getting more resilient, but I can see it pains her. That becomes too much to bear for me sometimes. Most times, this passes in a day or so. But this time it is almost as if something is holding my head down. You know the last time this happened, I fell sick. This time I didnโt fall sick, but I do have an upset stomach. Donโt know if this sense of hopelessness is related to this physical feeling of unwellness, but I wanted to share.
I was hearing your talk today and you mentioned we need to bear and carry our load. I am constantly trying to remember the Mother to give me strength to bear and rely on Her and guidance on my next steps.
Life upon earth is far from perfect at present and for a long time. It is just the sphere of imperfection that changes. There are people who are unhappy because they are lonely. There are others who are unhappy as they feel stuck in marriage. There are those who are moving up the ladder but under great stress, as there is always another rung that they must climb. It is rare indeed to find lasting peace and happiness except for those who have turned to the Divine and given themselves to God. Here is what Sri Aurobindo reminds us.
‘It is the lesson of life that always in this world everything fails a manโonly the Divine does not fail him, if he turns entirely to the Divine. It is not because there is something bad in you that blows fall on youโblows fall on all human beings because they are full of desire for things that cannot last and they lose them or, even if they get, it brings disappointment and cannot satisfy them. To turn to the Divine is the only truth in life.’
(Ref. https://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/the-difficulties-of-yoga)
Affectionately,ย
Alok Da
