While I was once very outgoing, I now actively dread lengthy phone calls, rarely feel moved to reply to acquaintances’ messages, and end up carrying guilt that my silence appears rude or cold. I wonder if this growing withdrawal is merely an onset of tamas, anxiety, or subtle depression, or if it reflects an old ascetic tendency resurfacing. Given that I still live in the everyday social world, how should I understand and navigate this increasing urge for seclusion?
This is indeed a very good sign, one of the clear indications of being on the spiritual path. It is neither an ascetic tendency, nor tamas, but a beautiful inner process, the clear sign of a new birth. It is an inner initiation on the true spiritual path wherein one enters a deeper inner life and all that engaged us and held us back earlier begins to suddenly pale away. It is not withdrawal but a kind of release from the hard grip of the forces of ignorance that hold us back. There is nothing to feel guilty about it. Each one follows the inner promptings of one’s life and so it must be. In fact, it cannot be otherwise. Yes, some people would misunderstand, but the closest one’s will not only understand but respect your new need. They are the true friends.
You need to do nothing except receiving this new state as a Grace and using the energy that will be available now to read, meditate, write (a diary of prayers) with the sole purpose of connecting yourself more and more to Her.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
