I am constantly trying to remind myself that Mother is watching and She knows how I am feeling and I call Her. I read Savitri and listen to your talks. They help, but I again slide down into this sense of hopelessness
This time the attack of despair is very strong. I am fighting it, but I am feeling like my load will never get lighter and it won’t get better (both outwardly and inwardly). Why is this happening? I want to surrender myself and want to have faith, but I am failing miserably and feeling like it will be like this forever. There is no silver lining
Separately, you mentioned last time that my outer being gets easily disturbed. How do I make it better and more equanimous? Every time I try, I notice an increasing number of things come to upset me at the same time. I know I need to be calm and equal, but I am far from that
Such attacks come when the spiritual elements in us get veiled, generally by an overall dissatisfaction with life and the sense of loneliness. These are phases that will not last long if you do not give it importance and stay busy with work. In fact, staying busy with anything useful, be it work or learning and reading something interesting, taking a walk around, even window shopping, unlocks this state in which one feels trapped. Especially reading and writing Savitri and Prayers from Prayers and Meditations is wonderful.
Along with it, you should do regular physical workouts and exercises so that the negative energies get washed out and there is space created for positive things to flow in.
Try this and let me know.
Affectionately,ย
Alok Da
