Should it be entirely out of the question for one to have goals of glimpsing the overmental realm and still make concessions to be engaged even in limited sexual activity within the premises of marriage?
Complete sexual mastery is never easy and is indispensable mainly for the physical transformation part. The ascension of consciousness, a glimpse of the Divine can take place without the complete conquest.
As to the process of sexual mastery, there is no simple answer to this most common difficulty especially among male disciples. The general advice is to first weaken the urge and the impulse through Samyama, that is, self-regulation. When it has weakened sufficiently, then nigraha, complete abstinence, works best. Marriage can help that way, but provided both are at least centrally in agreement on the path and the goal. If that is missing, then marriage may well be even a spiritual disaster.
Affectionately,
Alok da
