To reduce the increasing complexity of life to a single simple rule book may be convenient for the small and narrow unprogressive mind of man that seeks comfort in unthinking conventions but the expanding soul of man cannot take it as a final resting point. This idea of one person one love was a needed stage in social evolution but the society seems to be entering a new subjective phase in which certain things that were looked down will eventually become the new normal. Being in love with more than one person is perhaps one of them.
Yes it is very much possible to love more than one person, at the same time, as we see interestingly in the life of both Sri Krishna as well as Draupadi. In fact as the being grows in complexity different parts of nature engage with different people in different ways. It is but natural, even inevitable that in this course of friendship with some, one is likely to get attached to a few and have a more distant relationship with others. One can look at it somewhat like concentric circles moving further and further from the core just as we see with the Divine dealings during human birth. Thus there are those with whom one is connected through the psychic aspiration through number of lives. These are naturally the closest. But most are unaware of this core. There are also those with whom we feel a mental / intellectual companionship, others with whom we have a natural vital affinity. There are finally few with whom we are connected physically in the course of the play of destiny.
Unfortunately the deepest truth of our being does not usually manifest on the physical plane due to the distortions that take place as the Divine Will passes through different layers. This distortion arises due to the play of ego and desire. If these two can be quietened if not eliminated (which is indeed difficult) then the distortions are reduced to a minimum and it is then possible for all those who are deeply linked to us with our deepest truth to be near us in close and intimate ways. It is this deeper truth that nature is trying to express in ignorant ways.
How to navigate through this if destiny presents such a possibility before one. There are several ways. One is that intimate physical relationship involving child birth through marriage should be with one person. This is primarily because intimate physical relation throws up forces from the inconscient such as extreme possession, jealousy, fears, domination and all the lower vital elements that still dominate human nature. One should by an inner surgery or restraint prevent sullying this beautiful love into old animal channels. And then whomever one loves it should be selflessly in the spirit of giving rather than wanting or extracting.
If this is too difficult then one should not let love for one come in the way of loving the other. There should be the same care, respect, affection towards each of those whom one loves. There should be no comparisons nor any looking down upon one in preference over the other.
If this too is difficult one can either abandon the idea or else let love for another person largely silent or expressed within the limits possible. In any case one should not roll into guilt trips generated by certain social ideas and conventional morality. Love is always beautiful with one or more than one, but one should ensure it is love and not just a vital attraction, or an excuse to indulge in sexual desire. If these mixtures are there one should try to purify or at least refine it. In fact love by its very nature is about giving and not wanting. Especially one should never become a cause of suffering and disharmony or upset someone’s life for building the house of love for oneself. That brings inevitable complications and backlashes. If one keeps this in mind and works towards uplifting the force of love then the very power of love and the Divine support it. It is difficult but possible and even carries a truth within it.
Of course the ultimate way is to love the Divine within and in each and all as our true and permanent Lover and Beloved and to love each one with the psychic and divine love from one’s core to those whom one loves, seeing in each and everyone some aspect of the other of the Divine through which one is connected behind the different forms and names. This is where all this confusion will eventually lead us though after a long passage of time.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
