Love is the secret but a love that is wide and strong, love that is of the nature of giving, love that is prepared to sacrifice itself for the sake of the one whom we love. Of course we must not mistake this sacrifice for deliberate self-torture and martyrdom but rather for the willingness to bear difficulties and challenges that inevitably arise in every relationship. It should be a love that is willing to purify itself from the crude mixture of possessiveness, jealousy and other poisons that hurt the very soul of love. It should be a love content to love for the sake of the beloved and need nothing in return, not even a thank you note.
Evidently such a love is rarest of rare and as of now is found only in stories of divine beings such as of Sita and Rama, Radha and Krishna, Ruru, Savitri and few others. But these examples are precisely there to inspire us. Love, therefore, like any other power upon earth must be ready to subject itself to the law of evolution. Whatever its starting-point it must grow and reclaim its lost divinity. We need to understand that there is no ready-made cooked meal for man. We have to prepare it with raw materials at hand.
If love is the base of lasting relationship, sharing of affinities and interests through mutual joys of the mind and the senses and all the various aspects of life build the needed harmony. To care for each other, to have mutual respect, to share one’s thoughts and life and yet give sufficient space and freedom to explore and grow and discover along our individual lines in the right balance and measure is the other secret. But the most important element that seals a relationship and is its core to strive together towards the same ideal that goes beyond the petty interests of family and friends. To be one in aspiration, to walk the same inner path hand in hand, heart in heart, at the same pace, towards the same goal is the secret of a lasting relationship.
It is important to note that relationship is not about becoming a closed circle of mutual pleasure and giving happiness to each other, if ever it were possible. For whatever is closed and confined in a narrow circle tends to dry and even rot. Relationship should be an embrace that includes the world, it should be facing the world and the enigma of life together, it should be walking together towards the greatest of goals that man has ever envisaged, – the Divine.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
