I feel deeply disappointed in my relationship because my partner is very cold when it comes to expressing his feelings. He shows no excitement in life and rarely appreciates me. We never talk about our relationship, which leaves me feeling disconnected and alone. Often, he comes up with excuses for everything. Sometimes, he puts in effort and does a lot, but other times, he does nothing at all. We are married and live together, but it feels like I am the only one who expresses emotions and goes the extra mile to make things work. I constantly find myself questioning where we stand because we never openly discuss our emotions or the state of our relationship. I even suggested going to a counselor to help us communicate better, but he dismissed the idea, saying, “I’m not mad.” It’s exhausting to be the only one constantly trying while he remains emotionally distant and unresponsive😥.

Most relationship generally tend to become so. After the initial vital flush that attracts and draws people together is over. The usual mechanical round of life and the necessities take over. Especially if dormant ambition takes over and one steps into the complexities of life, the energies of love go into the background and there is also a tendency to take each other for granted. Besides, men in general are somehow less expressive even if the love is deep. 

Whatever be the reason going to counselor seldom helps. One cannot change nature easily especially when these are patterns learnt in the family.  What one can do is to stop expecting and start discovering your own life, the sources of joy within you especially through creative activities. Perhaps if you give a little space and keep a little distance he is likely to get more interested and start expressing his feelings.

Affectionately,

Alok Da