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Home » Life Problems And Psychological Difficulties » I have not been in a relationship for over 7 years. My vital often gets attracted to people, but my mind is firmly convinced that a relationship is an unnecessary burden in my life. I shrink away from the thought of being committed to someone, of having to please another person. What an unnecessary waste of time and energy! But unless one is in a relationship, how is one to express one’s sexual urges😫?

I have not been in a relationship for over 7 years. My vital often gets attracted to people, but my mind is firmly convinced that a relationship is an unnecessary burden in my life. I shrink away from the thought of being committed to someone, of having to please another person. What an unnecessary waste of time and energy! But unless one is in a relationship, how is one to express one’s sexual urges😫?

Well one doesn’t get into a relationship only to express the sexual urge. All societies have always provided certain safety valves for that. Besides by a steady application of will aided by the Grace one can master the sexual urge and sublimate it into creative and other activities. A relationship is far deeper and involve sharing and caring and even a preliminary training to step out of selfishness. Yes it often comes with a heavy price especially marriage. But things are changing and partners are learning to connect and relate giving enough space and freedom to each other rather than being clinging and dependent upon each other.

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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I am still not sure how to deal with my libido. As a young male, I occasionally experience extremely strong sexual desire. I am not in a relationship, I don’t masturbate or watch porn. I tried following some of your advice, such as exercise, breathing, creative expression, etc. It helped me enormously. But still there are times in which I just get completely submerged in lustful thoughts and overpowering desires. During such times I cannot sleep in the night and just crave sex intensely. When such states come, my mind starts telling me that I should just find somebody with whom I could have regular sex so that I don’t feel this agony😟, [conti]

August 30, 2025

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AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER

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