This is new normal now because of various reasons we need not discuss. It is partly due to the increasing complexity of the human consciousness, the new found freedom and possibilities, the fast pace and accelerated evolution, the breakdown of the old social order and the restructuring of life by the New Consciousness. All this is leading to a kind of confusion through which mankind has to pass and discover the New Way of life from the present animal humanity to the higher human kind and eventually the superhuman or the superman.
This background is important to find the true solution which seen thus becomes extremely simple. It means that one should love all who come into your life with the true love, demanding nothing, expecting nothing but constantly refining the energy of love, progressing and supporting each other in the evolutionary journey. But it demands freedom from jealousy and possessiveness that leads to all kinds of distortions in love, robbing it of its joy, turning it into hate. Of course love seeks union and this union includes the physical. But here too if the stress is on inner union and deeper understanding, the union of inner aspiration and thought and feelings rather than living together wherein the egos end up rubbing each other, to keep the outer act quite subordinate and as far as possible free from the animal impulse, infusing into it as much beauty, tenderness, care, depth as possible, then it is very much possible to love two persons. This has been already demonstrated in the life of Draupadi and Radha as well as life of certain seers and even the Divine Avatar. Above all there should be no dependency and freedom given for each to grow along their lines.
But it is not easy because human beings are habitually bound to certain old patterns that are too strong especially the strong association of love with lust and sex. It is therefore necessary first for both man and woman to be inwardly free and be oriented towards the higher aims of life. Otherwise the fine balancing act doesn’t work long, especially if it is only one partner willing to implement the necessary changes while the other wants to follow the old ways. If that be the case it is better to step out of both, take a time out to go within and see what one really wants and the price one is willing to pay, especially if the relationship is going to create upheavals and sufferings and great disharmony. Love cannot thrive in such an atmosphere and withdraws leaving the chalice empty of its joy or turning the sweet wine into bitter poison.
Ultimately one has to go beyond the idea of man and woman, especially in the biological sense and be as best of wonderful friends, complimenting each other in their difference, more of a joining of the masculine and feminine energies than an entanglement of bodies and forms as is prominent in the animal world. Each is a soul in evolution moving along the paths of the Purusha element or Prakriti.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
