I was very passionate about mathematics and was planning to pursue it as a researcher in the future. I was also enthusiastic about the humanities and I vaguely hoped to unite these interests in some meaningful way. These and some ideals constituted most of my sense of identity. I was not only skeptical of, but ignorantly critical of everything I associated with religion.
Everything started to change from the moment I found out about Integral Yoga, and I developed or discovered a deep adoration for Lord Krishna, and internally became attached to Him as the only aim. I knew my worldview had irreversibly broken and I had no clue how anything truly works. It felt mesmerizing and heart-melting. I want Mother and Sri Aurobindo to be my Teachers and to pursue their Yoga. I do not care for science and math or anything particular anymore, or, for that matter, about any specifics of anything.
As yet, I have much self-centeredness, I’m confused, I’m as cowardly in some aspects as I’m courageous in others, but I have resolved to seek The Divine only, and I have started trying to consecrate myself to Them. I have been reading The Synthesis of Yoga along with some of the other books, and interpreting and trying to practice on my own.
What I’m doing feels extremely insufficient and confusing, and I am longing for something more direct and absolute, such as a human Teacher, a guide, or perhaps regular discussions with seekers after an initial overview and directions. It would be wonderful to get directions about everything, in detail and overall, because I don’t really know almost anything. It is an entirely new start, and I want it to be absolute. Could you please suggest a course of action?
It is indeed Her Grace that has touched you, or more specifically, called you to the Path. And since They have called you to the Path, be rest assured that your spiritual destiny is certain.
Aspire and aspire, take the Mother’s Name, offer all you are and have and do to Her, with love, for Her Service. Try to discern and reject the inner and outer movements that come in the way of the Yoga. Surrender yourself more and more to Her.
Read Savitri and Prayers and Meditations every day. Spend some time daily contemplating about the Divine and His Purpose in you. Read Their writings, especially The Mother.
Do visit to the Ashram here in Pondicherry whenever you can. Will be happy to meet you.
Meanwhile, you can always write to me if there is any doubt or difficulty.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
